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  • Writer's pictureMiMi

April 11, 2024 ~ Thurs

Ugh! So frustrated! I woke up like 5 times again throughout the night. To go to the bathroom, vape. I thought the melatonin was going to help this stop. It probably didn’t help I took a nap before league last night but I really needed it.

Oy. It’s okay. I just need to try not to nap when I can. I’ve stopped going out during the week except for pool. Maybe now I can incorporate some exercise in its place at a gym. I have a whole bunch of shorts in a bag telling me I need to do something if I want to fit until them this year too!

I lost in 9-ball AGAIN last night. I need to start practicing and not just go in for league nights if I don’t want to go down in rank. It’s probably too late after last night. At least I can still play 8-ball.

My ex-husband was at the pool hall last night. It was nice to see him. We talked a little. He looked good.

Meds/vitamins. Water. Coffee. Dogs. Facebook. Blog. Maybe I’ll get some PepTalk app in. I don’t like how groggy I’m feeling!

I keep thinking about what my mom said when I put on the freshman 15 in college and asked for help with buying new jeans. “Lose the weight.” I’m 10 lbs up and fitting in so little. I don’t mind being heavier, I don’t feel unattractive, but my money is so tight. Ugh.

I have to think of something to get Kalob for his birthday. He’ll be 25 in 4 days! Woah!

I’m so grateful for my family, my kids. Every morning I try to remind myself of all I have to be grateful for and it always starts with them.

After so many years of worrying about Kalob having issues with me in adulthood like my brother and mother go through, to see that we’re okay… that was my biggest fear for a very long time…

After all of the years of living in separate homes because of my health… to end up okay. After all of the negative things he was told by his dad about me… we’re okay. I’m so grateful!! Blessed!!

I’m reminded of a journal I kept when things were at there worst, in 2006, when I first lost custody of him. The very first entry in my journal of positive thoughts was, “Someday he [Kalob] will understand.” And I was right!

I’m also grateful for Diesel and Riley, my constant companions. So different yet so alike, both always wanting only to be with me. They’re so sweet.

Let’s talk about my best friend Amy this morning too, who sent me a beautiful song yesterday morning about “surrendering” to Christ. She’s always so patient with me and understanding. Holding hope.

And my sister who continues to read my blog! No matter how boring or difficult. To know that someone is keeping up and will catch me if I fall. Love you!!

Okay, I think my meds have kicked in and I’m not as groggy. May be time to start positive messages though PepTalk and get ready for work.

Have an amazing day!

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