April 17, 2025 ~ Thursday

So… my moods are still fluctuating but life in general is stabilizing. I made a decision to share with my family that I was about to lose my phone last week… and my mom stepped in the help. I wish everyone with challenges like mine had someone who can and will help like her.

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I would like to go in this life. If I take care of me… I have a few good years left!

Therapy is going well. I wish I started it long ago. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been exposed to conversations about communication styles, defense mechanisms, sleep, doing the opposite of what is instinctual when emotional (can’t remember name of DBT method), more.

Time with family is going well. Rowan started asking about when we can have a sleepover which was really, really nice.

This weekend… looking to be a little tricky. Easter weekend. We’re not religious and so this is a holiday that typically sneaks up on me. I don’t make plans… it hits… and I regret not having made plans. Now… with grandbabies… it’s more important! And I need to share them. I’m not sure I’ll see much of them.

I’m still interested in and working the steps of AA. Last year things were real and I can’t ignore it. I’m on step 3… trying to process the idea of handing control of my life over to a higher power. SOMETHING has kept me alive! And helped prevent me from hurting others more than I have. Something guided me toward getting help.

I went on a date last night… no connection. A nice man, a retired veteran, but I’m not interested.