April 24, 2025 ~ Thursday

And… well… the game may have changed.

Yesterday morning I took a med that for the past few years I have taken at night. I also ate 350 calories with it, something I never did and, apparently is important.

The morning was up and down, a new, creative idea for a second book: Advantages and Disadvantages of Disclosing Mental Health Diagnosis (for employment… and relationships… and more). These thoughts were replaced by feelings of wanting to do nothing but go home from group and get back into bed. I wasn’t tired… that’s just where I wanted to be.

After getting home and laying in the bed I thought about all of the things I could do. 30-40 minute later I got out of the bed and… had the most productive, healthy day I’d had in months.

I prepped for job interviews, connected my printer to print resumes to take with me… spoke to another potential employer for 20 minute later and set up another interview… Tuesday. Pulled sweaters and winter dresses from my overstuffed closet so I can prep seasonal… good fitting clothes (overdue), made room on the floor at the bottom of my bed for the chest my father made, which I’ve been carrying around in my car for weeks (overdue)…

Had a brief conversation with G.

I went to an AA meeting and collected my 60/day chip.

On the way home I thought about the past few months and had ideas about how to move forward… including a VLog about living with mental illness… and better: a PODCAST. I managed anger and frustration again with what happened to me at Tidewater Roofing… and imagined it’s kinda cool. I can help others like me still… and move forward. I can still do so much even after the outcome of our court appearance. I am so glad I chose to drop it there. Because it doesn’t mean it is really over… and I have control.

I then had steak, watched The Handmade’s Tale, and updated my roommate on how I’d been feeling. Including a little concern I may have felt a little manic too. I was laughing out loud by myself driving home on 288 thinking… all of the things I can legally say in a podcast… about the past few years. Including details… no names… and still communicate with and help others. I still have the desire and… now… time.

I slept well.

This morning was a little slow but I can say it was from staying up too late with Meg. (I even took the stairs to my room 2 at a time at 11pm 😉) and chose to watch another episode at that time, not realizing how late it was.

If I can get my meds straight… I can conquer my financial challenges. And more.

Med/food/coffee/soda. Facebook. Riley. Blog. Prep and drive to interview.

I’m grateful for my family and friends. Riley and Bear. Some relief from my depression.

Have an amazing day!