December 1, 2024 ~ Sunday

Yesterday I spent a good amount of time in bed, just reading and playing games on my phone. It was cold outside. I did get my laundry folded and bills sorted too though. And tried on pants so that I only take with me what I know for sure fits.

The 3pm dinner at Meg’s turned into about 7pm… I was over there with brownies by 5:30 or so. Had a really nice visit. They are such a great family. Played a game with the kids and talked more about the move.

Made it to the bonfire at Tonya’s for a little while too… played a game and visited with friends. Home and in bed by 11pm.

It’s notable that no one really cares if I’m drinking or not, I don’t think. I’m not. And we all, I think, still get along just fine. If anything, I get support from my friends.. they know it’s been a tough year for me. They know I wasn’t well and stood by me. Two, nurses, want me to continue self care and to figure things out.

A was there last night and we talked a bit about T. We’re both glad he’s off the streets. It seems he was trying to spend time with her too, and she had to threaten him to get him to leave her alone. Smart woman.

D was there and it was his birthday. So there was cake too! Good thing about this period in my life, I’m allowing myself to eat some of whatever I want. Self care. It’s the little things.

Today, I’m resting some more. I feel I can’t get too much of it right now. Moving will be difficult. Take it slow. It will be okay.

Notable too, even though it was Thanksgiving weekend and I could have chosen to wallow in self pity, I didn’t. I realized one day last week, I knew I may have trouble living on my own before I set out. I need to stop acting like I’m in crisis mode and just take care of business. I can do it. And I don’t think I should be ashamed either. I’ve been doing my best. Even considering struggling with alcohol, it was, I feel, the best I could do with what I had at the time. I’m learning who I am l think after a long time on meds that slowed me down. Two and a half? years ago I started game-changing meds and have been trying to figure things out since. To be comfortable in my skin. To find what brings me joy.

I need to build my life around my family and friends… with healthy hobbies and long term wellness goals?

No matter what. All will be okay.

I’m grateful for my family and friends. This little bit of time with BOTH dogs! My warm house, 4 (not 3 like I thought) pairs of jeans that fit. Stick pads that I’m going to buy today to catch an unwelcome guest. The Christian radio station I found again, with the beautiful holiday music they’ve been playing on it. I’ve been feeling in the holiday spirit in spite of everything.

I do owe my mother ALOT and know that things would have gone more emergency south if it weren’t for her. 💕❤️🥹 The extra time that she bought for me in this house has made the move easier not just for me, but for Meg. Meg is finding herself having to sort through the belongings of her son, the one who passed a few years back. Making room for me in his room, it has not been easy. 🥹

Meds/vitamins. Dogs. Tea. News. Facebook. Blog.

It’s cold outside again.