February 12, 2025 ~ Wednesday

Having a little trouble getting going this morning. I think my dummy self who drank mt dew last night didn’t sleep well enough.

I haven’t mentioned my soda addiction. For some reason, before leaving my old house, I started drinking more soda. I started drinking it earlier in the day, then in the morning since coffee became a challenge. Things were tough.

This addiction ended up being an all day thing. I was drinking 5-6 sodas a day and no water, except to wash down morning meds. Not good!

Sat when I spoke to my brother I realized this is one simple, small step I can take to start feeling better. And I’ve done it. I have had a total of 3 sodas Sun Mon Tues. Two being last night. Anyway, I’m working on it. And my coffee is really good this morning.

I think my next change may be putting down the vape. I wake up multiple times every night needing nicotine. It’s really sad. Something that could be considered a small thing to fix, in the grand scheme of things. Ok, maybe kicking a smoking/vape habit isn’t small… but considering alcohol has been the biggest topic, and suicide another… depression… ugh. Cape seems like small potatoes.

I don’t know.

Meds/vitamins. Coffee. Riley. Need to get in the shower.

Grateful for my family and friends. The peace of the past couple of days. The creativity, even if just a little, felt the past couple of days. I guess I should say I’m grateful for my job. 😉 I should think a little more about that. I’m grateful the depression has lifted a bit. It was really, really bad.

New book topics:

“I’m Sorry, Son” (an apology for lashing out at him during last year’s manic episode)

“On a Positive Note” (talk of how much positive conversations can impact depression)

“My Only Enemy” (discussion of illness being my true enemy, not my relationships, etc)

Have an amazing day.