February 23, 2025 ~ Sunday

I spent the entire day yesterday, with the exception of a trip to the store and housework with Meg, reading about the AA program. I’m still not 100% sure about it. I do know that I want to quit drinking.

I had a really neat dream about getting to know one of my nieces. Something that would be getting straight and right with the world.

This morning, I’m at it again. Reading. Researching. Thinking.

I think I will go out and walk Riley in the cold, our first walk since moving into this house. I was worried he’d run away. Now, I believe he’s completely trained to stay in the backyard. He needs exercise though.

In a little while, I think I’m going to go to a meeting.

Today, I’m also going to visit my babies, hopefully. And have a date for coffee this evening. A man who doesn’t drink much. Reached out to me via Facebook. We’ll see. I told him most of my current situation already.

I’m thinking about the 12 steps and all involved, starting to write down my resentments. At first, I thought I don’t have any. But… then I realized I do. Primarily, being let go from jobs I loved. Was it because of the stigma of mental health challenges, or was my behavior really so bad that it was deemed necessary. Interestingly, I think it was different in each situation.

Martin Control, Stigma

Hermetic Networks, Behavior + Stigma

The Temp Agency, Wasn’t really let go, but my Behavior, indirectly. Lost one assignment because of manic behavior. Didn’t ask for another because of depression. Interesting now that I think about it.

What’s also interesting, in my interview for my current position, I admitted that playing too hard may have played a role in my trouble holding a job the past few years. And I was hired anyway? I wonder if anyone who played a part in my hiring is working the program, even!

M said he appreciated my honesty.

I have so much to think about. I’m proud of me for taking the time to do it, and not wasting time with games on my phone the past couple of days. I was getting really good at doing that over the past year…. Spending time lost in my phone and watching TV. Trying to get by. I did what I needed to do though. Kept me safe at home often. And from getting into trouble. And from getting more depressed than I already was, I guess.

I heard on the news this morning that there was an accident involving a Tesla and I’m a little worried about my friend. It doesn’t sound like anyone died, but still. Can be quite a shake up.

I wonder how many Teslas are being driven around my city and what the drivers do for a living too! My friend owns a super respectable farmer’s market.

Which reminds me, I have a little work to do today too. Website work.

Meds/vitamins. Water. Coffee. Riley. Riley was funny. He yelled at me for putting his food down too soon for him this morning. He stood by the bowl and barked at me a few times, refusing to get on the bed. I put the bowl up on a bookcase… he went back to bed. lol. The funny thing, he didn’t feel like guarding his bowl and he was worried about the other dog in the house coming in and eating his food. A constant concern of Riley’s and a goal of the other dog’s. (Bear’s) Blog. Bear is the dog in this morning’s cover photo. I’ll do Facebook too!

I’m grateful for my family and my friends. Riley. My home and my job. Maybe this great program I’m researching? My car. It’s holding up. The patience of my former landlord. We’ve worked out a payment plan.

Have an amazing day!