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  • Writer's pictureMiMi

June 4, 2024 ~ Tuesday

Yesterday started fantastic, feeling rejuvenated and ready to get back to work, picking up donuts for clients and heading out, even reading my book a little at stops getting reacquainted with it, then took a drastic turn at the news of the loss of a friend.


Brad. Amy’s brother.


Brad was a good friend of mine and my brother’s. Me, he used to visit me (just friends) late at night when we were teenagers, coming to our sliding back door. Never behaved inappropriately, even being older.


Was he 54 when he passed? 4 years older than me.


Poor Brad had one of the most difficult lives of anyone I’ve ever known, living with chronic pain from a motorcycle injury (injuries?) from childhood. He is no longer in pain. He is in a better place.


Amy! What can I do to help?? To find him as you did. I love you Amy and am so sorry! I wish I could take away your pain.


Surreal. I can’t believe how long it has been since I’ve seen him. Guilt for not visiting. Guilt for not trying to talk to him again about the WRAP program. He lost 40 lbs when he worked it years ago.


What a handsome guy he was in high school.


Brad. You will be missed!! ❤️😢🥰❤️😢❤️🥰


I will be heading north for his funeral later this week.


We don’t know yet exactly what happened to him but will soon. He was alone in his apartment.


I had lunch with a girlfriend. Mo’s.


I wrapped up driving early because I needed to work on another project for work, updating the client list.


Took a nap.


I spent a quiet, sober evening at home, working on my computer and listening to Big Bang Theory.


Riley was sweet enough to join me for a walk. I tried to get him to go further. I didn’t feel much like anything else.


I spoke with my kids. Cried it out.


I read through some advertisements for jobs, applying for one or two.


I journaled some of the negative thinking I’d been doing about someone’s behavior last week. About WV, sex, intelligence, and blond jokes.


I read a little Midnight Sun, by Stephanie Meyer, a gift from Amy.


Meds/vitamins. Coffee. Water. Riley. News. Skip Facebook for Brad and Amy. Time to figure out how to get through a long morning because I was struggling with sleep. Not worried about that struggle because I DID nap yesterday afternoon. Not unusual to have trouble sleeping when a nap was taken. Not a mental health red flag.


😢


6:30am update: Revising my 4am post to include the following…


So far this morning I have gone through clothes, sorted my underwear drawer (long overdue with change in weight), shown Riley serious love, created a new ad and scheduled the publishing of it for the Dugout and planned out the rest of my day. I was tempted to head to a gym around the corner that I discovered opens at 5am but didn’t have it together enough.


Now… I’m going to see if Riley will walk with me and, if not, think again about the gym. And then a shower. Maybe a nap! Oy I’m going to be tired today!

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