June 4, 2025 ~ Wednesday

It’s both interesting and sad to see how much my posts are read, the positive vs the negative posts. The negative ones get so many more views.

I’m trying to manage a lot right now and just get by. I’m extremely tired after a late night and thinking about napping. It was important that I stay up late and nothing to do with problems with my health, though I’m aware it’s not a great idea for me.

Yesterday I worked hard to get my unemployment to kick back in. I think the man who was supposed to be so upstanding is fighting it. I can’t blame him for being upset with me.

Today I managed to get myself totally legal on the road again. What a weight off my mind.

And I rescheduled a doctor’s appointment from July until tomorrow.

I’ve also been working more on the unemployment. It’s difficult for me to focus today with so many things to think about.

Why did it take me so long to process my recent behavior? Just yesterday I started realizing how terrible it was. How wrong I’ve been. What has all occurred. Calling 911 I always thought of as more of an early warning sign, and I have done it 3-4 times each episode I’ve had over the years. With the exception of my college episode. I suppose, I’ve had it in my head that my wrap was specifically for psychosis. I need to think more about it being for hypomania as well.

Tonight I direct a pool tournament and hope for a good turnout. The venue didn’t promote like they could have so I’m not sure how it will go.

Meds/vitamins. Sad post on Facebook. Communication with sponsor and a couple really good friends. Still trying to work out finding another place to go for a month and how to pay a couple more bills, including a new phone bill quickly approaching and my storage unit, which needs paid soon or I will lose everything in it. A little work on US Gaming Leagues this morning. Tried to call Mom.

I’m grateful for the health of my family (all of them), friends, and Riley and Bear. Please let them all stay healthy and safe while I try to get prepared to be able to support others again. Right now, it’s all I can do to try to take care of myself.

It’s a beautiful day outside and Meg is going to take her grandchildren swimming. Trying not to be jealous! Sitting outside a little here and there to enjoy the sun and take some of it in, but that’s all I can do right now.

Have a good day?