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  • Writer's pictureMiMi

October 12, 2023 ~ Thursday

So... blogging seems a little tedious at times. The purpose of this blog was to give a little insight into what it is like living as a single woman with mental health issues in 2023. But, what happens when life isn't too much of a struggle? When things are on an even keel?

At this time, work is going well. Meaning, I'm not worried about getting fired. There are moments when I'm concerned about it but the reasons have nothing to do with my health. There are internal issues with the company that have nothing to do with me. So it's going ok.

I'm not struggling with negative thinking, even though I'm not currently seeing anyone. Dating and being single has gotten me down in the past. At this time, I'm ok with it. I have dates but I'm not lonely, really. I have too much to do to worry about it. And, I have a pretty good team right now. Meaning any time I need to talk to someone, to share something good or bad that happened in a day, I have any number of people I can just pick up the phone and call. It helps, I suppose, that my challenges aren't too stressful right now. My bills are being paid. So I'm not upset.

Right now, my medications seem to be working really, really well. I don't like the amount I need to take but if they are working... The addition of prozac and vitamin B in the mornings over the past 6 months has been a true game-changer. It feels like I had a dark cloud lifted off my head and my energy level is pretty good.

Normally, in my experience working in the mental health field I have avoided too much discussion about medication because it is such a personal, and sensitive subject. Many believe you cannot get well without taking it. I DO NOT believe this. Many feel there is something really wrong with taking it. I don't believe this either.

It's true that medication was forced on me in college. I believe that my bio-chemical make-up was forever changed when that was done and, though I lived many years without it, my body benefits from it at times. Maybe if I'd never started it I would have learned to get well and stay well without it and been better off. Maybe not. I choose not to dwell on this.

There are no easy answers when it comes to medication with a couple exceptions, I believe. If you start it, it shouldn't be stopped abruptly. If you start it and need to change dosage amounts or want to try something different, try to let the people around you know. Accept help that is offered or find it in the community and be careful. Psychosis is not a game.

So I'm doing well with work, medications (including using them to help me with sleep), and dating. I also have some pretty great old and new friends and close relationships with my family. And I'm communicating with them on a daily basis via this blog, whether they choose to read it or not. I can't believe what a wonderful tool I discovered that can be used by all.

I've even started my book. I've read and re-read what's been written and know that I'll have to start fresh with a new structure that will make more sense but I'm getting the content out. I have a pretty good feeling May, my 50th birthday, will mark the completion of a short publication meant to inspire individuals like me to be ok after their first episode of psychosis.... or new in their recovery journey. How scary it can be to wake up and be told what happened! How comforting I found it to learn that it happens to others. I'm excited about sharing my experiences and finally making a decision who to target with my book.

What else is going well? I just feel like counting my blessings. My dogs. I was worried about Diesel but feel like he's going to still be with us for awhile. Whatever happened to cause the changes in his physical appearance don't seem to be impacting him in any other way. He's as snuggly and loving as ever. And Riley is just as sweet still as can be.

My garbage is being picked up right now, I hear. The simple act of being about to get my garbage can out to the road in time (actually last night) is a sign that I'm doing well.

The baby shower is around the corner and planning is going well. We may have a couple surprise, special guests. And the thought of the day warms me from the inside out. It's going to be one beautiful, fun weekend with our out of town guests. What an occasion to celebrate!

I am enjoying my new pool team; they're a great group of people. Huggers. I should remember to make that a requirement for playing on new teams in the future! LOL It has been an unexpected bonus. It makes losing when I do, like I did last night, ok, even.

Plans for the day: Need to get things together for work but it's going to be a little different type of day. I get to shop for give-away items for an event next Thursday. Please don't make me shop! LOL. I need to do that and get some drop ins in the books. No plans this evening so maybe I'll figure out the cake for the shower and my Halloween costumes. I need 2!

Have an amazing day!

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