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  • Writer's pictureMiMi

Red Flag, I Apologize

The other night I told you you were THE red flag... [to my family that my health had deteriorated]

I realize now that this was unfair. Yes, you were on top of the list. But you were not the only red flag. You were top of the list because it was not like me to date someone as quickly as I did you.

But the amount I was drinking, the loss of my car keys, some of the words I spoke and messages I sent. They too were red flags.

Perhaps trying to be with you caused me to drink a little more than I had been. Yes. But my girlfriends were right along there influencing too. And not just with alcohol.

Perhaps the amount of ubering I was doing to try to meet up with you, at your invitation, indirectly also contributed to the loss of my keys. (they were found in an Uber)

The loss of my keys contributed to the day that I ubered to Ashland and thought it made total sense to plan my workday around there. Walking around the neighborhood where I used to be employed, conducting drop in sales calls in the area.

You were not THE red flag. If in saying so the other night in any way made you feel bad I want to apologize.

You were top of the list, but I was crazy about you. You have your flaws, but I love your intelligence. The other night I remembered everything I loved about you in that short period of time.

Thank you for being kind to me last year when not everyone was.

PS - The hospital. All that was done was...

I was stripped of all medication. It was slowly reintroduced to me, one at a time, or something like it... and I came out 12 days later with the exact same cocktail, a little bit more of the Latuda. The medication that I told you I had started in April. I needed my medication tweaked. I don't recall us talking about that the last couple of times we were together.

I hope you are well today.

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