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  • Writer's pictureMiMi

Validated and Liberated

I just can't help it. I just keep thinking about how validating and liberating it is to be released from any and all obligation to the bully. She was told last week pretty much to leave me alone. She was told her opinion of me and anything I say or do is not welcomed. That she's to stop talking about me.

For over 20 years I've been forced to deal with her in one way or another, often put in very uncomfortable, sometimes humiliating positions as I tried to be as much a part of my son's life as possible.

I had to listen to lectures... keep silent in disagreement, accept watching my son be treated in ways I would not choose. It was incredibly difficult. Maddening even, literally, at times.

Not right now, but soon, I may allow myself a little stroll down memory lane to reflect on all that was learned, and survived.

Trying to be a parent with mental health challenges was hard enough. Add to it being judged, criticized, condescended, disrespected by your child's step-parent at the same time.

She bullied her way into school conferences, filled my son's counselor's ears with her often inaccurate assessments of what life was like in my home... she lied in courtrooms. Stood between me and my son's father like a bulldog. Enjoying the arguments. Feeding on them.

That's often how it felt anyway.

Now, when fear was starting to set in that we'd have a repeat of it all as we grand-parent, I've been liberated. She was told not to talk about me to my kids even if I were running down the street naked. My heart is full.

My family sees me.

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