May 7, 2024 ~ Tues

I took my Dirsel to the vet yesterday for a second opinion on his prognosis (6 mos) and more tests. A chest x-ray revealed aggressive cancer and less than 6 mos. I brought him home for just a few more days, because he perked up at the office, and now he sleeps. He’s sleeping, so he’s not in pain is what I was told. I don’t think we’re going to make it until Sat though. It’s so sad. My baby.

I’m just going through my memories of all of the good times that we had together. He really has been the snuggliest of all my dogs. Literally pushing his head up under my chin for love regularly. Sitting in my lap as if he were 10 lbs and not 55.

I miss the boy who begged to go with me every time I looked to be leaving the house. And who yanked and pulled me forward with his mad beagle urge to smell anything and everything in our path on walks. Who refused to get out of the jeep when rides were too short, the ones to the convenience store.

Your struggling learning to bark on command during training was the cutest. The way you learned to crawl across the floor, play dead and roll over too.

Diesel, my love. Riley and I are going to miss you.

These last days. It’s a blessing and a curse that your illness came on so quickly because there is little suffering but little time to say goodbye. I wish you could take a few more walks! That was my biggest hope when bringing you home for a little bit longer. But, rest instead if you must. We know now.

Rest, my love. You have been a wonderful companion. My little empath through my trying times. At alert at the first sign of distress from me. You were the best at that. At taking care of me. I remember your body wrapped around my body as I cried.

Rest, my love. It’s almost over.

Mommy